What does a good black man look for in a good black woman?
Butt size, physical beauty, children, the salary you make vs. his income…there are so many factors that black women often struggle with when considering what black men are looking for. Often, their focus often becomes directed at physical appearance, and many women go through a number of changes regarding their appearance and how they can be more appealing. However, when it really comes down to it, men are looking for more than just a pretty face who is thin in the waist and thick in the hips. According to a last Loveawake dating site stufy, here are are the top qualities men are looking for.
Positive and Nurturing Attitude
Men are attracted to women who are happy, smile, and know how to act pleasantly. The myth that black women have horrible attitudes and are difficult to deal with is pervasive within black culture. You know the type….tart-tongued, creatively choreographed neck twisting, finger-snapping, eye-rolling, eyebrow rising, loud-mouthed, drama-filled, defiant sista. This character study is even used as an excuse for why black men date outside of the race. Sistas, you don’t want to be the embodiment of this myth. Being bossy, overbearing, and tearing your man down…not a good look. You want to come across as confident, positive, nurturing, and intelligent.
“Sisters need to recognize that brothers are targets,” says Michael Eric Dyson, a University of Pennsylvania humanities professor and author of Why I Love Black Women (Basic Civitas Books). “Lovingly encourage your man to seek relief—the therapeutic kind, not just the bar or the basketball court—for the invisible injuries he endures every day.” And, Dyson says, men must see their women as partners, not competitors. “Brothers should aim to cooperate, not dominate.”
Listen to the Brother - The more you listen to what your man has to say, the more he’ll believe that you really are attracted to him. The fastest way to shut your man down is to ignore him or not listen to what he has to say. This doesn’t mean dozing off while he’s talking with the occasional, “Yes, ok, sure…” either. You need to acknowledge what he is saying back to him, and let your body language express the fact that he has your undivided attention.
You may not look like the models in fashion magazines or on TV, but we all know that even models need makeup and that a lot of work goes into their beautiful pictures in magazines (I watch Top Model too). Many men would love to date a real, touchable version of their favorite famous beauty. They are physical creatures and for them physical beauty is very very important. No matter what talk show hosts and magazines say about you being loved for who you are…men want a woman they are attracted to physically. You don’t have to have Halle Berry’s face or Buffy the Body’s booty, but you must emphasize your assets and hide your flaws. You can also work on your flaws, but don’t get so fixated on them that you forget that you are already beautiful. Remember, beauty is also an attitude. Women who believe they are beautiful are attractive to men. It’s about a total package.